Memes Come Here to Die

I've been tagged by Matt. It’s sad, even though memes come here to die, I suffer greatly when I see so many happy bloggers being tagged, and yet I’m left behind. It’s my fault, I know, because I never tag anyone. But when I saw I had been tagged, I jumped from my chair, pumped my fist and shouted, ‘YESSS!!’. Alex asked me what I was so excited about and frankly it would have been too embarrassing to admit that I got all pumped up over being involved in a meme, so I said, ‘Uhhh, porn. Yeah, porn! I just found out that the Internet has free porn! Wooo!’

Well, it does.

Seven things I plan to do before I die:
1. TequilaCon06
2. TequilaCon07
3. Make a drunken scene at my father’s funeral
4. Find the first girl I ever kissed and kiss her again.
5. Submit a story to Granta.
6. Teach my grandchildren all the Romanian curse words.
7. TequilaCon08

Seven things I can do:
1. Make a mean Tequila Sunrise, without the benefit of orange juice or grenadine. Most people call this straight tequila. I'm not so easily hung up on names.
2. Tickle my kids to the point where they scream but not past the point where they stop begging for more.
3. Insulate an interior room without removing the drywall.
4. Go days without eating.
5. TequilaCon09
6. Make Alex laugh even when she is absolutely furious at me. It’s really not fair.
7. Sneeze with my eyes open.

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Skip TequilaCon10
2. Win an argument when the other person cries.
3. Keep from falling for other women.
4. Hit the high notes in ‘Don’t Stop Believin’.
5. Leave my camera at home.
6. Understand why so many people leave comments.
7. Button the top button, even on the rare occasions I wear a tie.

Seven things that I find attractive in a man:
1. Does nice things for others in secrecy and without hope of recompense.
2. Knows his way around cars and tools.
3. Has a wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/partner who knows her/his way around a bar.
4. Is interested in attending the next TequilaCon and owns a beach house with 7 rooms.
5. Will go to his grave with my secrets and sins.
6. Gives me a hug and calls me ‘Buddy.’
7. Embraces his inner geek.

Seven things I say most often:
1. VTF
2. Tequila!
3. Don’t Stop Believin.
4. Hey now, hey now (don’t dream it’s over).
5. You’ll feel something hard as stone, and it’s something called the bone!
6. DO as daddy says, do not REPEAT as daddy says. Now eff off.
7. But honey, TequilaCon IS a real conference!

Seven celebrity crushes:
1. Sarah Harmer
2. Kirsty Gunn
3. Padma Lakshmi
4. Heather Champ
5. Julian Sands
6. Leslie Feist
7. Dooce

Seven bloggers I must now tag
1. Memes
2. Come
3. Here
4. To
5. Die
6.
7. (TequilaCon)