Scott brings up a good point about how nice people are to me on this site. I’m not sure what that point is, but it’s a good point, nonetheless. In fact, waaay back in January I wrote a post called ‘Snark Me, Pretty Please,’ in which I implored people to say awful things, just so my ego wouldn’t get carried away. Because I, of all people, do not need positive reinforcement. I admit, I sometimes catch myself sneezing just for the blessings.
Even my wife has brought up the blog in a few recent arguments we’ve had.
‘Oh, suddeenly you are beeg man because Eenternest love you? Vell, mabye eet’s time to take break from vlog! Vut you say?’
Okay, so, here’s the deal. For every subsequent ‘nice’ comment, Alex is going to withhold sex for one day. However, to be fair, for every snark, mean or hurtful remark aimed at my direction, Alex will submit to my filthiest desires, all of which, not surprisingly, involve her dressed as The Count from Sesame Street and going down on me with a hand puppet, singing that Count von Count Classic, ‘Bones (Inside of You)’:
Touch your ankle, tap your knees
Give your chin a little squeeze
You'll feel something hard inside
And it cannot be denied
What you feel seems hard as stone
And it's something called the bone
Oh there are bones, bones, bones, bones
Bones inside of you
Bones, bones, bones, bones
More than just a few
So many you can count them
Amazing but it's true
There are bones, bones, bones, bones
Bones inside of you
I'd just like to go on the record as saying that for my money, public television and half an imagination trumps cable any day.
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