Beered

BEARD

I was out all day yesterday, and Friday looks the same. I do want to thank everyone for their comments, and wish I could respond to each. There was some seriously twisted things said about me. You guuuuys!
/gushes

Okay, to the person(s) who mentioned their absence on my blogroll: I will get you on the blogroll. In fact, if you know someone who wants to be on my blogroll, send me their info, too. In fact, since I try to do the reciprolink thing, there’s probably a good shot I may even get you and all your blogging friends on there twice. I wish I could say being on my blogroll mattered in some way, but the only blogger with more blogs on their blogroll is Dave Technorati. I did try at one point to delete blogs that were dead for some reason, but wound up cutting folks that I actually read. Oops. I’m too lazy to add them back unless they remind me. Usually when you cut someone, though, they pretty much hate you for life. They were probably pleased with all the vicious comments I got yesterday.

(update: Alex just walked in a minute ago and said, ‘You are ignorant dill veed!’ I was totally like, ‘Eeg! What did I do?’ And then she started laughing at me. Apparently she just read yesterday’s post. I wonder if she knows I was serious about the hand puppet…)

To the person(s) who mentioned how lucky I am to be with Alex. Yes, I am very lucky to have been taken in by this woman, and, yes, I agree that had she spoken English and understood sarcasm when we met I probably would have failed in my attempt to marry her. Remember that at 6’1” she is a couple (3 ½) inches taller than me. Here is what I think I told her at the time:

‘No worries. I’m still growing. American men do not reach their full height until 25 or 26. I’m not sure why this is, but I’m sure it has to do with our propensity to make loads of money. In any case, I should wind up around 6’7”.’

And to the person who asked the question about whether or not I am prepared to meet the Lord, well, honestly, no, I’m not. However, I think that even if I were to take the next year preparing for that, I would still not be ready. I mean, it’s God. But it’s probably a moot point. Not to blaspheme or anything, but do you know how many people die on any given day? How on earth could they all meet the Lord, unless it was in some sort of impersonal, assembly-hall sort of manner?

/insert cartoon of emcee at mic in front of an audience of several thousand people: “Okay folks, prepare to meet your maker! Let’s have a round of applause…”

And if that’s the case, I’m not sure if I really need to prepare, ‘cause if there’s one thing I know, it’s how to blend in with a crowd. Besides, if I can’t get Wil Wheaton to return an email, why would I expect to get any face time with anyone of importance in the Godosphere?

I do hope we meet, though, and I think it would be totally cool if the Lord greeted me by calling me a bunch of awful things, but then picked me off the floor and said, ‘I’m kidding! I really liked your ‘Sticked and Stoned’ post.’