I Heart These Dreams

I don’t remember having my first ‘naked’ dream until a few years ago, but now I have them on a regular basis. At first, I thought it had something to do with my insecurity as a man, but because they are so frequent I think the real reason I have them is because I enjoy them.

Last night, my subconscience added an interesting twist. I was in a big room in only my underwear, and of course, there was the requisite crowd of onlookers. So in my dream, I said to myself, ‘Oh, Brando, it looks like you’re having another naked dream again. Don’t be embarrassed, this is just a dream. Enjoy yourself.’

But then, a guy behind a podium said, ‘Welcome to the Naked Convention.’

And as I looked around, I saw that EVERYONE was in their underwear. And then I was mighty embarrassed because this WASN’T a dream. It was a NAKED CONVENTION! And then I looked around hoping that no one had heard me say out loud, ‘This is just a dream,’ because then the other naked people might think I was weird.

Of course, now fully in the belief that I was NOT dreaming, my subconscience immediately transported me out of the conference of naked people and into a crowded street with a lot of non-naked people, and since I was now convinced this was no longer a dream, I said, ‘Well, how the hell did I get lost in a crowded street? I hope everyone here realizes that I’m part of the Naked Conference, and not just some weird guy walking around the street in his underwear.’

So I started walking, and walking, and walking. Past the Chinese market in Oakland, through Lowry Hall at the University of Missouri, along the river walk in San Antonio. Trying desperately to find my way back to the Naked Convention.

I woke up very tired and laying naked next to my underwear. On the couch.

Would somebody mind flying to Romania and retrieving my spouse? I really shouldn’t be left alone.

Is it cloak 'n dagger
Could it be spring or fall
I walk without a cut
Through a stained glass wall
Weaker in my eyesight
The candle in my grip
And words that have no form
Are falling from my lips