His answer to the question begins to fade into the background noise but comes back into focus when he says, '...MY LIFE WAS EMPTY, BUT NOW IT IS FULL.' Of course, OF COURSE I am forced to ponder this physical nature of human existence, because apparently it can be defined in terms of volume.
How full or empty is my own life? I wouldn't begin to know how I am supposed to measure this. What is the capacity of my vessel? Am I supposed to leave a little space towards the top for when it's freezing?
Can it be considered full regardless of the contents, or are some liquids more filling than others? Are we measuring by weight or by volume?
I am much faster and much more light-footed on the trail when my life is empty, all that excess weight unburdened from my jug of contentment, no longer swishing around when I face a sudden stop or have to jump because a deadly creature lunges from beyond the looking grass. California quails, mostly.
My life is over-full, now, I say to the radio, and it is spilling all over the seat. My life used to be empty and I had something to strive for, something beyond clearance rack painkillers and single-use cameras. Now my main objective is not splashing my contents all over unworthy strangers who need to work for theirs. I have no interest in trading up for a new container, in fact, I'm thinking of downsizing to a paper cup, it will be so much easier to fill. I want to pour it out when no one is watching, fill it up again and pour it out where everyone can see.
I want to spend entire summers filling that emptiness, then douse the wildfires that last into the fall.
10 comments:
It's not the container that matters, anyhow. Fact is, if you don't throw the contents out occasionally, whatever's inside gets rancid and nasty. When people say that their 'cup runneth over', I tend to think that their life is in a rut and have resorted to quoting psalms to justify it.
Screw the cup. Be a funnel.
More taste, less filling. Wait, isn't that a beer ad?
sir, i thought that expression referred to well-endowed athletes, but hmm...
steph, you would have to live an active life to keep a funnel full. i like it.
shari! see how hard it is to stay dry? thank god cigarette companies aren't allowed on the airwaves.
i love this one brandon.
when I was pregnant with my daughter i wondered if her soul plopped into its embryonic "container" at a certain point in time, or if it wove itself into her cells bit by bit like a spider spinning a web. . it hardly matters now, seven years later; her soul, like yours is just too big for the container that holds it.
thanks for being on the planet with us!
Weight or volume aside, your vessel in outer space has no weight. After all, weight only matters when oppositional forces are at work. And who gives a hoot about gravity, really?
So maybe the important measurement is mass? Not how much space a vessel takes up, but how much vessel-stuff makes up the stuff-vessel?
I don't know. Perhaps it's density that counts. If that is the case, I should be considered quite full up.
leezer, if i could just phase change my soul (which is naturally in its gaseous state) into either a solid or liquid, i bet it could fit easy into my factory-manufactured container. i am too hot to hold.
summer, you make an excellent point. the oldest trees in the world are actually quite small, 7,000 rings upon rings. that is a lot of life packed into such a dense space. i guess setting down roots is the first step.
First time over. Love it so far.
I'd wish for a small coffee mug, the kind that a million grandmother fingers have been intimate with.
Though a funnel certainly has appeal.
And Brandon, everyday you make it through my admiration grows stronger.
hi jodie!
thanks, matt. damn though, i suppose i better put down this glass of bourbon. that was close.
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