The depths of my crapulence are readily apparent when I am dry and feverish, when I am aguishly calling for personal mothering, when I am whispering underneath my breath, 'Oh, how could I have been such a fool.' I am hoping that I have reached some sort of emotional dew point, and that the intense sweating lately has more to do with promise than regret. Not that I would ever overthink that sort of thing.
I am recently completing the first 7-day leg of a journey that began with undeniable, oppressive inauspiciousness. Oh, how could I have been such a fool! The reason I am so sick, I tell myself, is because I want to take for granted how nice it is in the confines of my little home, where I am able to win every fight when the other person leaves the room, and where stumbling and slurred speech is not only encouraged, but duly rewarded by eager kisses and back-rides around the living room.
As soon as I get a day to myself, I swear, I am going to take 5 hot showers in a row and raid the candy drawer and leave the lights on in a room clear on the other side of the house. I am going to apologize without any sense of remorse. Later, I will build a fire in the backyard using entirely too much lighter fluid, and then fall asleep on the floor in front of the television set, think about how my dad used to do the same, back when they played the national anthem at the end of the broadcast day, the scene would fade to the no signal transmission, all the colors of the spectrum.
5 comments:
and snow...glorious transmission "snow."
i could never sleep without it.
now i just cannot sleep.
It's good to have a plan. But even better to have a pancreas, as a former doctor used to tell me.
Crapulence. Nice.
Hallucinations... the one good thing about fever.
Feel better soon.
That damn song used to wake me up. Why so loud?! And I was comfy. Why is it so much trouble to go to bed when we're already asleep?
swine, if only the internet would shut down like those old tvs, i might actually get in 2-3 productive hours per week.
yccm, does a former doctor have to go back to being called Mr.? that would be hard.
e, the other good thing about fever is it makes me feel hot.
don, patriotism has always been measured in decibels, how I hear it.
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