SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2008
1:22 PM
“They asked us if we wanted to go to Vegas. Let’s!”
“Okay. When? Spring Break? Memorial Day?”
“…saturday…”
“This is going to end in a fight, you know.”
“Ooh, look! I brought you some wine!”
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2008
9:37 AM
“I am so sorry, but ever since you told me about them, I have not been able to think about anything else! I mean, to think they were right there doing YOU KNOW and you had to go to the bathroom, you poor thing!”
“I only said ‘Mommy’ one time!”
“Oh, I don’t know what I am going to do when I see her! I mean EWWWW! She is my friend, but EWWWWWOMGOMG!!!”
“These things happen. I looked it up, and apparently there is still some loophole that can get them into heaven. It involves a live sheep and a barbecue pit, but you know.”
“I know I promised not to tell anyone, but…DON’T KILL ME. I told my husband.”
“No worries. I have a philosophy about gossip: Never tell unless you plan on telling TWO people. That way it can’t be absolutely traced directly to you. I think this is called triangulation.”
“So someone else knows? WHO?”
“If I tell you, I’ll have to tell someone else! That’s the rule.”
“You are good.”
“That’s the rumor.”
11:15 AM
“Well, they found a ticket and they want to book!”
“Wait, they still want to go to Vegas on Saturday?”
11:16 AM
“Are you still there?”
2:41 PM
“I’d like to redeem some miles for a trip to Vegas. Please. Thank you. Please. Ma’am.”
“No problem. It looks like you have 30,000 miles. When would you like to fly out?”
“…saturday…”
“This is going to end badly, you know.”
4:58 PM
“Did you get our hotel booked?”
“Pfft. No problem.”
“Did you get our flights booked?”
“Pfft. No problem.”
“Um. How early are we leaving?”
“Before I answer, which constellation have you always wanted to see?”
“…”
“Wait, wait! Before you answer, how do you feel about LAX?”
“…”
“Wait, wait, wait! Before you answer, what is your opinion of three hour layovers?”
“…”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait! Before you answer, REMEMBER THAT THIS WAS YOUR IDEA!”
6:10 PM
“How is your wines?”
“Vegas is the new Barack.”
“Aww, yeah.”
7 comments:
funny, this is exactly how I'm ending up in Brussels on Friday.
This is for research purposes: you're surely going to scout TequilaCon locations for next year, right? Brandon, I salute your dedication! You do us all proud!
So jealous right now.
...loophole that can get them into heaven. It involves a live sheep and a barbecue pit...
When the question involves animal sacrifice, giants, whips, or fire, the Old Testament always has the correct answer.
anon, brussels was our second choice. serious!
vahid, my motto is do me proud or don't do me at all or do me drunk in the bed of my pickup truck, whatever.
jenny, international museum of pinball, here we come!
sir, of all the crazy religious texts out there, i think the OT is my favoritest of all.
I have this theory that flight staff are more likely to slip you freeze booze when on a red eye, A) because they're too tired to give a shit, and B) because they want you to pass out so they can continue not giving a shit.
Dustin, is it bad that suddenly i want to date a flight attendant?
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