On the way to Los Angeles, I popped a headphone splitter and Footloose into the DVD player and pined away for a time when the worst of your problems were only a secret barn dance away from blue sky pharmaceutical happiness. Alex kept asking me to put on the closed captioning because she couldn't understand what they were saying and for the first time in god knows how long, I cried. Words or no words, Footloose is one of those films you either understand or you are dead to me/do not understand.
But to be fair, she apparently has a similar complaint that manifested when I accidentally walked into the room while she was watching a movie that she feels as strongly about, Pretty Woman, which I had never seen before. Unfortunately, I walked in halfway through the movie, and a few plot details were lost on me.
Me: Hey! It's that one guy! The one from that show that is on every 4th channel every time we go to a hotel!
Alex: Seinfeld?
Me: OOH OOH! (points at nose) OOH!
Alex: Shh!
Me: Um, hey, why does everyone keep calling Julia Roberts a hooker? That's awfully judgmental, don't you think?
Alex: Because she's a hooker.
Me: Really, now, don't you start.
Alex: Shhh!
Me: Hey! Wait a second! Is this for real? That guy from Seinfeld just trick slapped Julia like Dr. Dre! I don't get it. Where's the joke? This is kind of awkward.
Alex: SHHH!
Me: Wow. She's gonna need an awfully big barn and a whole lot of Kenny Loggins to make this right.
Alex: God, shut up, you're not funny!
But later, we both got hammered and I pretended like I was Kevin Bacon and she pretended like she was Chris Penn, and I taught her how to dance and she said, 'I like your spunk!' and I said, 'Good! Because you're going to have it in your hair!'
Yeah, that's when I ruined the moment.
(Chris Penn was in Footloose. Kevin Bacon was in Footloose. Kevin Bacon was in She's Having a Baby. Elizabeth McGovern was in She's Having a Baby. Elizabeth McGovern was supposedly engaged to Sean Penn. Sean Penn is Chris Penn's older brother! Isn't it awesome how Chris Penn is probably connected to pretty much everyone?)
6 comments:
Ha! Spunk! Ha!
AND MADONNA!!!! Oh, oh, and Robin Wright!
This was equal parts touching and funny. Oh, and kind of sticky at the end. But mostly the other two.
There should be some kind of smiley-icon for sitting here watching you with my eyes kind of large and my jaw slack and my expression a bit vacant.
Maybe it'd look like >--] which kinda reminds my of my martini glass when I'm looking at it sideways.
vahid, touching always leads to sticky in the end.
mouse, i get that look in real life more often than you might imagine.
steph, i can only hope that one day i can be so lucky as Chris Penn. oh, wait...
sir, it would have been funnier at the time had my joke not been premature.
7 degrees? Brilliant.
Now, I'm intimidated again. What excuse can I manufacture on such short notice?
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