Tristan told us we BOTH needed to sign his homework, his mom AND his dad. Since I am lazy I said, "TRISTAN, I'M NOT YOUR FATHER."
Alex, in surprising and seamless relief, added, "We've been meaning to tell you."
Tristan, stunned, said, "What? Really? Where's my real father?"
Alex said, "I don't know. Somewhere in South Carolina."
"Delivering the mail," I clarified.
"What? That's not true!"
I then listed all the obvious physical differences between us and it was really quite funny UNTIL HE STARTED BAWLING.
"BUT THEN I WON'T LOVE YOU AS MUCH!"
Damn these jokes spoiled by unspeakable truths.
8 comments:
He had to find out sometime. At least the mail man comes around regularly.
Plus, with fedex and ups, you have even more chances to win.
to this day, my mother still tells me she found me in the dumpster.
god, i love being alive.
Your mother loves you and you're not fooling anyone.
Besides, I've found plenty of cool shit in dumpsters. I'd have taken it for a compliment!
UNSPEAKABLE TRUTHS.
it's what it's.
is it? sort of like telling someone his pants are too short?
or not, as the case may be.
I'm pretty sure this makes you both horrible and hilarious.
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