I imagine more than once.
I walked into a bar today and had that awful, cringeworthy experience where the conversation stops completely, everyone looks at you, and you think OH MY GOD, THIS IS NOT A BAR, IT IS A FRONT FOR A MONEY LAUNDERING FACTORY. And this was confirmed when I discovered that the sandwiches were too underpriced, and when I joked about BLUE LAWS the hostess (DO NOT GO INTO A POOL HALL THAT HAS A HOSTESS) says, "YEAH, WHAT YOU WANT?"
I meekly replied, "um...do...you have...like...um...gin...and stuff?"
"YEAH WE GOT THAT IN THE BACK. HOLD ON."
The gin wasn't what I would call underpriced, but a bottle of JIM BEAM here at the hotel costs $72.
I'm not joking. I know the dollar has depreciated a BIT in the last 7 years, but don't cry to me about the cost of a barrel of oil.
We all have our priorities.
10 comments:
This made me laugh. I especially enjoy your usage of capital letters.
When things go wrong, I seem to be bad.
jill, CAPS are okay, but it's the double meanings that kill me. i am slowly becoming homophoniphobic.
julie, i seem to be bad when things go wrong, too. when things go right, for that matter...
I have never had that experience, but I would like to. I would ask for vodka, though.
Man, if sweet delicious liquor were sold for ~$100/barrel, I fear I might hop the next train to cirrhosisville; population: Me.
I have many times had that cringeworthy experience, but it usually comes from walking into a bar *alone* - you can almost see the cartoon bubble over people's heads with the "look at that poor single girl hanging out in a bar all alone" commentary in it. Gin is much cheaper when you drink it at home and skip the cartoon bubbles...
jake, the only bad part is your neck and feet hurt from running back to the hotel room while looking over your shoulder.
sir, 'sweet, delicious, liquor???' that's like three redundancies. go for the record, why don't you!
princess, i was totally alone, too! and there is no such thing as cheap gin. we all pay for it in the end, enormously.
oh did I quote Nina Simone? I did and I'm sorry.
julie, you did, and it flew over my head, and it would have flown over Google's head, too, if it wasn't for their $60 billion technology budget.
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