We played $2 Nassau on Saturday and I might have been the youngest man on the course by 20 years, but we walked and struck it clean. Still, I was down 3 by the 5th, and on the 6th I dropped a long putt for birdie, and on the 7th, dropped one down for par, and by the 9th had my partner shaking his head. Unbelievable. On the back nine, I didn't want to be a bad guest, so I closed my eyes and swung away, and swung away and swung away and dropped them longer and longer. We moved our balls from deer tracks because winter rules were in effect, and removed our hats and jackets and shielded our eyes from the sun. By 18, I was up two, so he pressed, because when you are losing, what else can you do? It is like saying to your girl as she is headed out the door, suitcase in hand, "Give me one more chance. If I win, I win it all, and if I lose, you've lost nothing." I had maybe 15 feet to go, and as the whole day had gone, so did this one moment. It was undeniably fine.
Today I ran 13 miles and not fewer than 4 dogs came running up on me, at mile 10, a pair of Pomeranians nipped at my heels and I jumped 10 feet in the air, looked back at the owner, a tank of a gal smoking her smokes and yelling at her babies, and I looked at her and she fingered me with her eyes. Every neighbor for the past week has been a suspect, and there are prowlers on the loose, and criminals attacking ten-year olds and we are mobilizing because we are afraid that some terrorist 5,000 miles away is a greater threat to our children than the people repairing our roofs and mowing our lawns.
On Friday, I gave a speech and there were protesters and everyone looked at me like, 'What did you put in those words?' and I laughed because there were pretty girls all around and you don't betray your insecurities in the face of long eyelashes and bared midriffs, you do not. On Thursday, my dreams of St. Louis were dashed by a longstanding disregard for roles and responsibilities in favor of other duties as assigned, which apparently include RUINING MY TRIP TO ST. LOUIS. And somewhere in between, we tried to figure out how on Earth we might possibly extricate ourselves from each other, because it is too long running now, and not coming up with any reasonable solution, we opened up a bottle of champagne and ordered chow mein.
In hindsight, I would have ordered the kung pao.
1 comment:
"...we are afraid that some terrorist 5,000 miles away is a greater threat to our children than the people repairing our roofs and mowing our lawns."
Well said.
If champagne goes with chow mein, what would have gone with kung pao?
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