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The other day, I raped a girl. It is regrettable, of course, but all the intelligence I had at the time led me to believe that she wanted me to rape her. Moreover, I happen to know that this girl used to date a guy who raped a friend of mine, and there was no way I was going to let that stand. Still, I can't stop raping her now, even though my reason for doing so was misinformed. Because if I stop raping her and abandon her here in the wilderness, then other, crueler men will come in and rape her even worse. And after they finished raping her, they would follow me home, and I'd be forced to return and rape even more of them. So the rape must continue, because it is the only humane thing to do. Let's not preoccupy ourselves with the past. What's done is done. I raped her under the best of intentions, and many of my friends said I was right to do so. The question we must ask ourselves is, 'Where do we go from here?' Do we return to a situation where all our women are threatened with rape? Or do we rape this girl as humanely and compassionately as possible, so that no further harm comes to her?
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9 comments:
Mr. Edgy!
yeah, i switched to a different brand of beer and have been prone to awkward outbursts all day. so much for my faith in domestics!
Domestic beer. That explains it. You should know better than to mix repressed rage with something as ass-tastic as Budweiser.
This is obviously an incredibly elaborate allegory, so I'm trying to think of another word that "rape" must be standing in for here. I'm gonna go with "hug."
don't forget to replace 'girl' with 'beer'!
It's not rape, it's liberation.
Hello, Brandon.
er, it's spelled 'libation.'
in fact, i think i'll liberate another bottle from the fridge.
Rape, war... whatever. Really, all Iraq (I mean, Irene, or whatever her name is) needs, is to learn to enjoy the process. Maybe lubrication, in addition to libation?
You must send this one in to Reader's Digest. Immediately.
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