/ immodest proposal

I can only hope that it won't be too long before some guy has the bright idea of proposing to his lady friend by way of paying a homeless man to write it up on his cardboard sign, since all the other original ideas have been taken. The set up would be the best part, obviously, as the guy drives his unsuspecting bride-to-be (BECAUSE HOW COULD SHE SAY NO AFTER ALL THAT EFFORT?) along the freeway overpass, then says in an obnoxiously loud voice, "YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BE A BETTER MAN. HAND ME THAT LEFT OVER ARBEE'S SO THAT I CAN HELP THIS HOMELESS FELLA." And as she looks over, she will read the proposal, Sharpied onto the cardboard, "WILL YOU MARY ME RHODA," and she will mumble, 'God, poor Rhoda. Her boyfriend is proposing with a homeless dude. That's gonna last.'

And he will say, "Rhonda, you used to be so romantic."

And then the light will come on, and she will squeal with delight, how happy she is, 'cause really, she was just jealous of Rhoda, what with her creative boyfriend who actually wants to marry her. And then all the cars will start honking in celebration, because that's what you do when people are happy, you blare your horn at them until they get going already.

Just in case, I've penned a few possibilities:

'Will you marry me for food?'

'Oh, who am I kidding? I only want money for beer and your hand in marriage.'

'Ninjas killed my family. Need money for karate lessons and your wedding gift.'

I suppose we should also set up a web site where you can type in your message and it will appear on a homeless person's sign. It should be classy.