you ever dream you are having sex and when you wake up, you find that you ARE INDEED having sex? is there a word to describe that brief phenomenon where your brain is trying to comprehend the situation, connect the unreal with the for reals? is it like when people tell you about time travel, they always warn, 'IF YOU RUN INTO THE YOUNGER VERSION OF YOURSELF IN THE PAST, DO NOT LET THE YOUNGER PERSON SEE YOU!' why aren't you supposed to talk with the younger you, anyway? is it because he'd be disappointed???
but the problem with waking up from a sex dream to actual sex is not disappointment, but rather the funny faces you make as you try to figure out just what in the hell is going on. i would imagine that to a bystander you might seem to be confused, lost, and in some deal of pain, an effect doubled if the bystander is your mother-in-law emerging from a dream in which she is taking a long walk only to wake up and discover she is indeed taking a long walk. i bet that's like identical twins going back into the past and accidentally bumping into their younger selves during that one time when they switched identities in order to play a prank on the principal.
for lack of a better term, i have been referring to the phenomenon of waking from a sex dream into actual real life dreamy sex and the resulting confusion as cognitive zomgity. though, i am eager to find out what the REAL word is rather than go years with my own name, and then realize at an embarrassing moment that scientists already call THAT something, and what they call it is perineum and not chode, which i further embarrassed myself by swearing it was a derivative from the french word for HOT.
i once experienced cognitive zomgity in san jose when a girl i had been thinking about slipped a note underneath my door. the look on my face was a mixture of confusion and HOPE.
i should probably stop fantasizing about hotel staff.
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8 comments:
When I woke up from a dream and I was actually having sex, the people at the clinic called it "rohypnol."
once i woke up from a dream about having sex with a man in a public toilet and the people at my clinic diagnosed me as a 'closeted republican.'
at this moment, my parents are reassuring all the neighbors that they are still proud of me.
If you awoke from dreaming about having sex, and there was a bystander in the room grading your facial expressions, I'd worry more about the bystander than the facial expressions.
On the other hand, if your mother-in-law awoke from a dream where she was walking, only to find you half-asleep and humping her...again, I believe you'd have more problems than unbecoming facial expressions.
Also, it's called a taint. And yes, I am a scientist.
t'isn't!
heh. you said coming :)
then you said facial :(
Sometimes I awaken from sexual dreams to find myself incredibly depressed and with a sudden urge to drink scotch alone in the bathtub. I'm not sure if that's the same thing.
Oh, once I fell asleep in a coffee shop and had a sexual dream only to awaken to find that the entire coffee shop was staring at me including foreign dishwashers who came out from the back to stare. That's not one, but two comments and thus two times the TMI.
stealing from scott:
what is this ...sex you are talking about?
What's awkward is when you dream you're having sex and then you wake up to find that you're really driving a school bus.
Having sex.
Hello, Brandon.
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