GDAM

GDAM

Look, it’s a well-known fact that not voting tomorrow will cause you herpes.

Observe:

Me: Hey, did you vote?
Her: Awww! Goddamnit, I forgot!
Me: No problem, who cares, right? You look hot, by the way.
Her: Really? Awww! Thanks! YOU, TOO.
Me: Hey, has anyone ever told you…never mind. It’s silly.
Her: No! Tell me!
Me: I can’t. If I tell you, I’ll have to sleep with you.
Her: TELL ME.
Me: Okay, but only if you promise not to hold it against me in the morning.
Her: NOW GODDAMNIT.
Me: Has anyone ever told you that there’s an intensity about you, that makes the other person looking into your eyes feel as though he’s just taken the last step of a 1,000 mile odyssey that finally caused Fate to concede defeat and confess, ‘You’re home.’?

ONE WEEK LATER
Her: YOU MOTHERFUCKR! YOU GAVE ME HERPES!
Me: Maybe next time you should vote.
ME AND HER BOTH LOOKING AT THE SCREEN SIMULTANEOUSLY: SERIOUSLY.

(THE PRECEDING POST IS A ‘FILLER,’ BASED ON THE FACT THAT I WILL LIKELY LOSE POWER TONIGHT AND NOT BE ABLE TO UPLOAD AN ACTUAL POST BECAUSE THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS PROCLAIMED THAT GOD HATES THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST AND IS FOR SOME REASON CONSPIRING AGAINST MY DESIRE TO ADHERE TO THE RULES OF NABLOPOMO.

HAD THIS BEEN AN ACTUAL POST, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUNNY.)