A Similie

What is that?

That. That used to be a television. And now it is a very poorly performing nightstand. Too narrow at the top, you see.

AND THEN SHE SAID

When did it stop being, you know, a television?

Well, that would have been before it came into my possession. As long as I’ve had it, it has never worked. It was given to me by a neighbor who thought it wrong that I had no television. He said it only needed a single part, but the term for that part was unfamiliar to me. So when I called the local electronics store, I stayed completely silent on the other end of the line unable to describe what I needed, until he hung up.

AND THEN SHE SAID

I could listen to you talk all day.

You may have to. We have no television.

And then by the 10th day, she had still not broken his heart, and he was despondent. So he called her, but stood silent on the other end of the line, unable to describe why she should have left long before now. And then he wondered if he hadn’t tried hard enough to drive her away, if he had neglected all those little things that had always worked in the past, but, no, he thought and recalled the forgotten dates, the misspelled names, the inappropriate gifts, the drunken over-familiarity. No, I’ve done everything right, he thought. And he smiled, because he remembered that on several occasions, she had even laughed out loud at one or two of his errors in judgment.

And he wondered this for so long that he didn’t notice the phone had gone dead, and or that she had gotten into her car, and that she made the cross-town drive 7 minutes more quickly than she ever had before, and that suddenly she was standing right next to him, the phone still in his hand, and she leaned over to kiss him, but at the last moment, he ducked.

AND THEN SHE SAID

You’re far too pretty for me to dump, so just knock that shit off already. And she removed his clothes and led him to his bedroom, and she fired up a notebook computer. And they watched a movie while their feet became reacquainted after a long absence. And afterwards, she put the computer on top of the television set, and she didn’t worry that it might teeter off the narrow ledge, or that she would, for that matter, because she had far more pressing concerns on her mind.