If you’ve never participated in a comment orgy before, now is your chance. Sandra will be the next mistress of ceremonies, and it’s sure to be an unforgettable affair. In fact, I’ve called in sick just to fully participate…
/cue the ducks
"Uh, boss, I'm not going to be in tomorrow. I'm going to be sick. With herpes."
"You know, you're not required to tell us the actual illness."
"Oh."
/awkward telephone silence.
"Just so you know, it's the GOOD herpes."
"Okay."
"I, er, HAHAHAHAHA!"
"Hope you're feeling better soon." /click
"."
So if you like the good herpes (and who doesn't?), please join us for some group intercourse. Light refreshments will be served. And just so’s you know, we don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time. We can dance and party all night. And drink some cherry wine.
So go you big whores!
(ps – for those of you unfamiliar with the comment orgy, it produces at least 100 comments for the host. 1,448 comments at the 8 orgies so far. I’ve compiled a retrospective of some of the the comments I've besotted the hosts with. Insert your typical sitcom ‘Best Of’ music here:
Well, being stamped in is fine, but I swear, my biggest pet peeve at an orgy are those folks who are clearly ‘going through the motions.’ You just know they’re only here for the free pretzels.
Condoms! What is this, the 90s?
(sadly, that kind of seemed funny in my head)
truthfully, i just want to be held. but it always seems to be a mood breaker at these things.
wow (skipping over boob talk for the moment) was that a hallmark moment, or what? The Comment Orgy Meme has actually brought the world closer together. Pea, are you handling the press release on this?
Most memes are evil. This one is good. Amen.
This meme has the best sound bytes of any meme ever. I predict by the end of the year this meme will somehow capture Osama, restore order to the Force, destroy the One Ring to Rule Them All and reunite the Beatles.
she said i had to come WITH pants. she said nothing about wearing them, jenny.
although the first time someone refers to me as Romy's 'widow fwend' i'm putting them back on.
Romy, i'm sooo sorry. the last time i invited Jenny to an orgy, she did the same thing (running around showing everyone her boobs. it's an orgy, not a flasher convention, i said.)
oh, by the way, here's mine: [.|.]
yes, i've been working out. in the garage on the sand weights.
oh jeez, 100 comments. i know what happens now. Yesterday you were Andie and I was Duckie and we were happy, but now Andrew McCarthy has moved in on the scene. And now that you're popular, you're going to leave me, aren't you, Romy?
/fades into the background singing
'don't youuuuuu, forget about meeeeee...
dontdontdont...'
actually, what i originally said was talk about 'boots.' people hear what they wanna hear is all i'm sayin.
okay, i'm out of my meetings and here to leave as many comments as you need to get...uh...90?! You're already at 90?! it took me DAYS to get to 90! you, you, whore! back in my day, we took our orgies nice and slow. but you kids and your fancy DSLs and wireless blueteeth and internets 2.0. it just disgusts me.
Jenny, The Council of Comment Orgy Veterans has never had to intervene and bring a comment orgy to a halt, but if you mention Breakin 2 one more time we may need to set a precedent. This is an orgy. Please show it the proper dignity and respect it deserves. Oh, has anyone seen my corset? It would have been stained with campari.
nice. well, there was some latin there for awhile, but you pulled it all together in the end with the boobs.
there’s no time limit to the orgy. it took me at least two full days. but i’m older and need to pace myself. pea got to her 100 in like 25 minutes. but you know, what does that say about her, really? i want to be an orgy participant, not a tramp.
i for one do not have the hots for peefer. i called out his name strictly to be polite. inasmuch as i enjoy fruit. cause it’s rich in vitamens. anyone seen my cowboy hat?
OWWWW! WTF!?! Who the hell left this friendship pin lying on the carpet? I swear to Gd, can’t a guy join an orgy without having to wear shoes?
they do SO have breasts! urr, you know, not like i care.
/backs out of the room and prepares to make second, less awkward entrance
doubtful. there are some things you just don't share, even in a brightly lit room full of fornicators.
/yawns
you won't believe this jill, but last night i dreamed you invited me to an orgy and...hey! what are all these naked people doing here?
technically it's rug burn and not rash, but you know, i brought plenty of penicillin with me from mexico. i've got quite a bit, so you might want to clear out the malt liquor from the fridge.
oh, i think i understand what romy said:
'would you prefer to do me in italy?'
/blushes
okay, Scott, let me tell you a thing about orgies. you see, i'm trying to get into the mood, enjoying the whore d'oeuvres swapping between jill and chicky babe, and all i seem to be able to focus on is the FLICKR SLIDE SHOW OF YOUR CHILDREN. please. leaving pictures up of your children at an orgy? who DOES that?
great. thanks for pulling the kids out. now i can get my rocks off to SADDAM FREAKIN HUSSEIN.
totally not helping. fortunately, i ALSO brought a mr. potato head. but mine only comes with one eye.
/squirms at most awkward attempt at sexual innuendo ever
well, i do prefer Bush over Dick.
Okay, now what are you waiting for? Get over there and start soiling the furniture.
Powered by Blogger.