Bargains

TOTALLY UNRELATED TO POST

I’m looking for a word or phrase to describe preempting disappointment through bargaining for something you don’t really want.

/cue the ducks

“So what can I do to get you back on the fire department?”
“Ha! Nothing. Sorry. I’m just too busy with work and writing and my weekly visits to the ER.”
“So what can I do to get you back on the fire department?”
“Er. Well, seriously. I can’t. Alex will leave me if I rejoin the department.”
“So what can I do to get you back on the fire department?”
“…”
“So what can I do to get you back on the fire department?”
“Look, I tell you what. I’m working on a huge grant, and if we get it, I can probably slack off for the rest of the year without fear. So, if we get the grant, I’ll join the fire department.”

Sometimes the anticipation of heavy disappointment causes you to barter for an ounce of joy. “If I don’t get A, then I will do B,” where A is something you desperately want, and B is something you desperately do not. It’s like putting your money on both fighters. You’re going to lose. But not so much.

* * *
“Fine, I’ll ask her out. And if she says, ‘WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN WAITING FOR?’, I’ll go with you to Saskatchewan.”

“Alright, alright. If the tests come back negative, then we’ll buy that big screen TV.”

“Okay, here’s the deal, God. If you make the sores go away, I promise I’ll start going to church more regularly.”

* * *
Never mind. I don’t think there is a specific word. It’s just regular old bargaining.