My son has acquired one of my childhood talents, the act of saying ‘What?’ to whatever someone says EVEN WHEN IT’S PLAINLY CLEAR THAT HE HEARD THEM JUST FINE.
/CUE THE DUCKS
Me: Tristan, could you hand me that bloody hacksaw?
Tristan: What?
Me: YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID, YOU LITTLE HELLION, YOU’RE STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO ME!
Tristan: Huh?
Me: OH, KNOCK IT OFF AND HAND ME THE GODDAMNED SAW!
* * *
See? He’s clearly just trying to annoy me.
* * *
Hey, I read that your muscles get stronger after working out because you actually DAMAGE them. It’s the damage that makes your muscles grow.
So?
Well, you know how when you drink a lot, your brain shrinks from the dehydration? I wonder if the same principle applies? It’s the damage that makes your brain STRONGER.
The brain is not a MUSCLE!
Pfft. Srue it iszzzzz...
* * *
Me: What’s for dinner?
Alex: Pizza.
Me: YAYYY! What kind?
Alex: Pepperoni.
Me: HAYYY! I don’t eat meat, and you know it!
Alex: Just peek pepperoni out, you beeg baby.
Me: THAT’S NOT THE POINT, WOMAN! IT’S ABOUT RESPECTING MY RIGHT NOT TO HAVE TO PEEK OUT PEPPERONI! IT’S ABOUT RESPECTING MY CHOICE NOT TO ENGAGE IN THE WORLD WIDE FAUNACAUST! IT’S…OMFG WTF! I’VE BECOME THAT WHICH I SWORE I WOULD NOT: ANNOYING VEGETARIAN EATER!
Alex: Treestan, do you vant your dad’s pepperoni?
Tristan: What?
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