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RETRACTION
Hey, can someone jimmy one of those there breathalyzers to my keyboard? We can call it the ‘alco-lock.’ It will disable my ability to post emo-tantrums to the interweb the next time my BAC dips back above .9 (at rest, even with no alcohol consumption, my BAC generally hovers around .18. Weird, huh?)
Cause I totally do not but barely remember writing the previous post, which I hereby formally retract from the blogosphere. Last night as I was preparing for my evening flossing ritual, friends came over bearing gifts of rum and something else that I totally ignored, because there was rum. Gifts for the children, I think. Rum, for me, is one of those drinks that are best mixed with something else, and I prefer to mix mine with an ice cube. I have named this special drink a ‘Gin Rummy.’
After several servings of generous gin rummies, I could feel myself getting loud and gropey, so I decided this was a sad turn of events, and I typed out my tantrum in emo-inebriatedness, and posted a photo of a slug.
I would also like to retract an email I sent that contained this line: “I think that likability and lickability are remarkably similar in both spelling and concept.”
But, I can’t recall to whom I sent this jewel of nugget wisdom.
And, mostly, of course I like Comments. Comments is my friend. Comments is who guided me through Bedford Falls and showed me all the people whose lives I would not have affected had I never enabled them (Comments is kind of selfish about getting his wings). I won’t turn my back on Comments. Even though I desperately need Comments to occasionally let me jump from the bridge into the icy waters below and pelt me with grandma’s candied rock balls for being such a whiny woe-is-me. Gah. I’m such a baby.
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