Miss Marisol pointed out the coincidental timing of my 'Wormholes' repost and the release this week of the 40 Year Old Virgin. Ah yes, the concept behind that movie strikes me deep to my insecure core. I vividly remember a time when I thought, 'I will never, ever convince a woman to have intercourse with me. It will never happen. I am so depressed right now I could just die.'
Still, it didn't keep me from saying I had had sex before.
So for all you twelveys out there reading this, here's a little advice:
/cue wavy dream sequence
* * *
I lost my virginity before you.
Oh yeah, I lost mine when I was 12!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was 11!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was 10!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was 9!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was 8!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was 7!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was 6!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was 5!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was 4!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was 3!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was 2!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was 1!
Oh yeah! I lost mine when I was, uh…Damn!
Ha!
All right dude, you win this round.
* * *
It just goes to show you. If you’re gonna lie about when you lost your virginity, always, ALWAYS start with an odd number.
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