Recovery

The community where we live has one single country store, which was recently bought by a Japanese family. The woman speaks very little english and is always very sweet. Last night, we stopped in to buy some beer for my stepdad’s birthday, and Alex and the kids stayed in the car while I ran inside.

She was there behind the counter, but I guess she had her daughter working with her. Her daughter was extremely pretty, and said something to her mother in Japanese, which made her mother laugh.

Her mother then said to me, ‘My daughter thinks you’re very handsome.’

To which I replied, ‘Wha, er, hoo, ah, eeg, aouf. Mmmm.’

So, sure, it kind of took me by surprise. I didn’t expect to find love with an underaged foreigner in the country store near the home I share with my wife and children. I was ready in Vegas. But they say most accidents happen within 1 mile of your home, and apparently they are pretty smart. So I took my malt liquor in its paper bag, composed myself, and prepared to say something a little more charming than, ‘Eeg.’

It’s at this moment that Alex ran into the store.

‘Ve forgot ze birzday card! Ve have to go home.’

‘Eeg.’

‘Vut?’

‘Aouf.’

‘Okay, ven you are feenished haveeng seizure, I vill be vaiteeng in car.’

As Alex left the store, I turned to finish paying and said, ‘Did you understand a word that woman said? Sheez. Don’t quote me on this, but if you ask me,’ I leaned in and said quietly, ‘I don’t think she’s from around these here parts. Heh heh.’

I’d say that was a nice recovery all around.