Aren't kids great?
They're like 40 pound ticks, sucking up everything that you are and turning it into something swollen and purple.
But if who you are is perverse and vile, those great kids suddenly aren't so great. Because like parasites, children are a reflection of those closest to them.
So NBC would like to warn you against letting children watch you surf the internet. Because we've seen the places you've been.
For that matter, NBC would also like to encourage you to stop reading. Even in the public libraries, there is some hateful literature.
Literacy leads to hate. Hate is a four letter word. Literacy is like two four letter words combined.
And one of those words is 'racy.'
In fact, if you can keep your children from learning how to read, then they will never be able to paint racial slurs onto the sides of the abandoned refrigerator trucks close to where you live.
Kids aren't born to read. Literacy is learned.
Make sure it's the one thing they never learn from you.
(cue music)
Coming up next, 'Average Joe: Adam Returns!'
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