big doog

(There is a contest over at www.doogiehowserondvd.com. McSweeney's already did this last year, but I figure what the heck.)

What would you think if I sang out of tune,

Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key.


I had yet another patient ask me today if I missed playing the part of Ensign Crusher on The Next Generation.

Me: Ha ha, very funny. No, I think you have me confused with someone else.

Patient, winking: Anyway, I know you probably have to say that, but still, I love wilwheaton dot net.

Me: Sure.

Patient: So how come a big shot like you is working at a Reservation medical clinic? Don’t you get SAG retirement?

Me: Actually, this is helping me pay off my student medical loans…

Patient: And then you’ll try and win back the heart of Winnie once you’re on your feet again?

Me: Winnie?!? You’re thinking Wonder Years now.

Patient: Oh yeah, that’s right, you were the geeky sidekick, not Winnie’s boyfriend.

Me: I was NOT in Wonder Years!

Patient: I always thought it would be weird if Vinnie hooked up with Winnie! Vinnie and Winnie, see?

Me: Max Casella was not in Wonder Years, you’re thinking Josh Saviano.

Patient: Then who was your love interest?

Me: I didn’t have a love interest.

Patient: Wanda!

Me: Excuse me?

Patient: You never forget your first one, if you know what I mean! Especially when it happens in front of a national television audience.

Me: You know what, you’re fine. Get plenty of liquids…

Patient, imitating announcer: Tonight, on a very special Doogie Howser, MD. They should have called that episode ‘Doogie Style’! Ha! No wonder you’re working the Reservations.

Me: Indeed…

March 23, 2005

I prescribe advanced pharmaceuticals on a daily basis to those who come to me in need, but I’ve learned that with each interaction, I am also a patient. For them, the best treatment is usually an anti-depressant. But for me, there’s no medicine quite like a bottle of homemade corn hooch from Big Jim’s machine shop on the corner of Nisqually and Longmire.

Bigdooginthehowse.blogspot.com

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