The Five People You &@$! in Heaven

(well, I enjoyed my brief stint atop the BE directory charts. now that all the '1s' and '2s' are rapidly filling my rating, i can thankfully return to being filthy. god, it's so refreshing!)

We had a get together last night that turned into a meme party. Our friend Erica, whose husband is currently in Afghanistan, said that she and her husband have this running agreement:

“We each created a list of 5 famous people who we are allowed to &@$! should we ever have the opportunity.”


I, of course, was intrigued. “With no consequences?” God, could such an agreement actually exist between husband/wife/partner and/or partner/wife/husband?

My sister-in-law, Cristina (who speaks with much less of a Romanian accent than my wife) asked, “What do you mean &@$!?”

Erica: I mean &@$!

My wife, Alex: Anyvone?

Erica: *nods while sipping her wine*

My brother-in-law, Chris (who just moments earlier had heard how I had dated his wife before leaving her for her sister): Anyone?

Erica: *nods while nibbling on cheesecake*

Me: Well, who’s on your list? And don’t forget that I’m semi-famous.

Erica: *giggles* Sorry, the list is full. It’s Harry Connick, Jr. and George Clooney.

Alex: Vait a meenute. I teenk you said you could &@$! five men?

Erica: Harry occupies spots 1-4.

Alex
, Cristina: *raise eyebrows knowingly* Ohhhh….

Erica: So who would be on your list, Alex?

Alex: Let me teenk about eet…

Erica: Sure, take your ti—

Alex: *interrupts* Matthew McConahunk, Veel Smeeth, Brad Peett, Hugh Jackman and Ben Steeler.

Me: *thankful she didn’t mention Zach Braff* Ben Stiller? Well, that’s one I suppose I could agree to…

Alex: I’m just &@$!ing vith you! I mean to say Zach Braff.

Me: *thankful I’m nearly complete in my intoxication* The Bastard won’t lay his hands on you!

Erica: So who would be on your list, Brandon?

Me: Well, I’m not sure. Juliet Binoche is really the only one who comes to mind. But I guess I’ll add Zach Braff to mine as well.

Cristina: Really?

Me: Well, you know, sometimes you just gotta say &@$! it. Might as well see what all the fuss is about. Besides, I feel like he's already &@$! ing me by maintaining a blog. &@$! er.

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