Why does the dental assistant cover your chest with the lead vest before bombarding your head with x-rays? Every time she comes back to readjust the business end of the x-ray, she looks at me funny, and I realize, lead sheet or not, this is a vulnerable spot.
And so I start to imagine the basis of a short story I wish Marquez would write, where a patient comes face to face with an old acquaintance who went on to become a dental assistant when the two of them split. They were having an affair. His wife was about to find out, so he called it off. He loved her. She felt abandoned and lost. And now he unexpectedly finds himself in her control, and realizes for the first time how bright the examination light is, and wonders if his pores seem large.
But it's hard to imagine this scenario any further, because the dental assistant is 10 years older than me, and, well, not really my type. Not the type that makes you desperate and sleepless thinking about her when you should be thinking about work. Or sleep.
So instead, i look at my shoes and wonder why the hell I'm wearing a lead vest with the goddamned x-rays pointed at my brain. And something strange happens...
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2 comments:
It's to protect your sensitive reproductive parts. At least, that's what I always assumed for a girl. Does the lead vest go down low enough to protect boy parts? Hmmm. Tricky, that one.
ahhh! now I'm scared, because I distinctly remember the lead did not cover my, er, q-tip and cotton balls. i will research this, post-haste and report-out...
on second thought, two kids is enough for me. i wonder how many dental visits with no lead sheet would be the equivalent of a hysterectomy? or, wait, what's the one called that guys get?
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