43 Things List

(Thanks to HabitatGirl for clueing me in to the 43 things list.)

I signed up here in order to put together the 43 things I want to do in the next year, and started clicking on other peoples’ goals:

Find My Male Spiritual Soulmate

Okay, lest the one guy who wrote this stop by and snark me (oh, pretty please!), I just want to go on the record as saying I respect this choice. I, being a manly man, also hold the secret desire that I might find similar male companionship. Someone who won’t laugh at me when I tell him:

“You know them little stars you see when you stand up too fast? They scares me. Makes me think someone’s trying to beam me up to a space ship.”

And it’d be nice if he held me afterwards in his big, strong arms. He better be hot.

But I had a little issue with the second item in the ‘Love’ category:

Tell My Wife I Love Her Everyday

Yeah, right, maybe when she’s sleeping. Whoever posted that either isn’t married, is fishing for sympathy or is on the ass end of a restraining order.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m affectionate. Maybe too much so. But you can’t say ‘I love you’ over and over. You have to show your love. If you go around shooting your mouth off, this is what happens:

Day 1
Me: I love you, babe.
Alex: Ahhh! Alex love her leetle huzband, too!

Day 2
Me: I love you, precious.
Alex: Da. I love you, too, short man.

Day 3
Me: I’m serious. I love you.
Alex: Vut zee hell are you talkeeng about?

Day 4
Me: Not only do I love you. I think I’m falling in love with you.
Alex: WHO ZEE HELL EEZ SHE? I KEEL ZEE BEETCH!!!

And the next thing you know, I’m taking A Penicillin Shot In The Ass just to get her to let me back in bed.

And that, my friends, is not on my 43 things list.